22A – Elevator Pitch No. 3
Reflection
The feedback I received was generally the same but I knew myself that I had a longer pitch. Therefore I worked to make the pitch smoother by eliminating extra words and compressing my lines.
What did you change, based on the feedback?
This time I managed to cut my pitch down a lot more , actually exactly to 90 seconds. I took out some redundant lines and merged them with existing ones.
Hi Cory! You did a really great job shortening your pitch! I felt intrigued and it didn’t go on for too long. Overall you did a very nice job. One suggestion is to work on filming angle. Maybe try to place it on a dresser so that it looks like you are addressing the camera! It is difficult to feel attached to the pitch when the viewer doesn’t feel included!
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